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One of Our Tough Choices

There is no magic formula for getting out of debt, and many times there are tough choices to be made. In the end, it is all worth it, since the sacrifices can lead to greater good down the road. But still, when you are in the middle of the hard choices, and the last thing that you want to do is make them, life can be full of anxiety. We have one such choice we are facing right now. My daughter is a competitive figure skater. This is a sport that requires a bit of money to maintain. Although she … Continue reading →

Sometimes It’s Not Enough

Recently I was reminded again of how many tough decisions we have to make as single parents. A friend of mine posted on her Facebook about how guilty she was feeling because her daughter had to have a tooth pulled because she had to keep putting off getting it fixed. As she said, sometimes the decision was between feeding her daughter or going to the dentist. So why does she feel like a bad mom? This woman works hard and takes wonderful care of her children but because their father doesn’t help her there isn’t always money left after the … Continue reading →

Tough Times, Tough Choices

Many families are feeling the squeeze of tight budgets these days, and the rising prices on essential items like gasoline and food are making tight budgets even tighter by the day. As we find that our dollars are not able to stretch nearly as far as they used to, many of us are confronted with difficult financial choices. While the exact choices that your family faces are sure to be different than those experienced by me or by the people next door, you are not alone in having to make decisions that you never thought that you would have to … Continue reading →

Summer in New York—-Family Friendly Cultural Choices

Mention to your children that your trip to New York is going to include “cultural experiences” and you can bet that you’ll be met with eye rolling and some groans. Well, stand tough parents because once your offspring are immersed in the Big Apple’s cultural offerings you might be surprised by their reaction. Melodious summer fun begins and ends in Manhattan. It’s music, music and more music at Central Park’s SummerStage. The series of free concerts gets underway on June 13th with a salute to gospel and soul. Artists including Mavis Staples and Stephanie McKay will kick off the summer … Continue reading →

Dealing with Your Spouse’s Choices

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Yes, I am back to the book. As my readers know I have begun slowly but surely digging my way through The Power of a Praying Wife. While reading this book I am taking on two personalities. First, I am viewing from a wife’s stand point. Secondly, I am a researcher. Therefore, I am thoroughly pulling it apart! The section that I want to discuss today is the section that deals with your husband’s choices. I think that there are many things that you should know about your husband before you get married. However in some cases, things change. As … Continue reading →

Balancing Decisions and Choices (Yours and Theirs)

I tend to write fairly often about decisions and choices—the importance of letting our children learn how to make decisions and take chances on their own instead of our doing everything for them as parents. I realize, however, that there has to be some balance between our making decisions and choices as parents, and our child’s making decisions and choices too… In my experience as a parent—and most of that time as a single parent—I have learned that when I start to feel resentment and completely overwhelmed, then things are likely out of balance. While I want my kids to … Continue reading →

When You Change Your Mind about Parenting Choices

Parenting choices are not written in stone—even if we do know that we need to be consistent and set firm boundaries, there are still those times when we change our minds. Experience teaches us a thing or two or we discover that what worked with one child does not necessarily work with another so we need to adjust. There is no shame and should not be any guilt, but it can be tough figuring out just how to go about changing our mind without losing face… If truth be told, in my two decades of parenting, I have changed my … Continue reading →

Making the Tough Decisions and Choices…On Your Own

Nobody promised single parenthood was going to be easy—but many of the realities of living family life as a single parent have both positive and negative aspects, and it can all be in how you look at things. Making decisions and choices can be one of those things—it’s sometimes nice not having to consult with anyone else or take someone else’s ideas into account when we are making the tough decisions, but there are other times when we really could use someone to help us share the load… Having the confidence to make the tough decisions and choices alone can … Continue reading →

Talking about Tough Issues: Rape

Stress that the child was not given up because of the circumstances of her conception, but because the mother could not care for her (which may have been partly because of the emotional trauma of the cirucumstances of the conception). In early childhood: “It wasn’t a happy relationship. Your birthmother was scared. Sometimes your birthfather hadn’t respected her and had made her do things that hurt her. She didn’t want you around him, and she was too hurt by what had happened to take care of you herself, so she made an adoption plan that would keep you safe and … Continue reading →

Talking About Tough Issues: Abandonment

Some adoptive parents are very distressed to learn that their child was abandoned. They believe that this means the birthmother did not love the child. It is certainly difficult to think of a beloved child left alone, but remember that when it is the only option, abandonment does not have the negative connotations it has in this country. In the case of international adoption, often a country does not have a formal system for placing children for adoption. In these countries “abandonment” does not imply that the child was found in a dumpster. “Abandoned” babies in these countries are usually … Continue reading →