Search Results for: blog the saver and the spender get married

Debt and Marriage: How It is Tough to Love When You Owe

Many couples enter into a marriage with debt already in hand. Others accumulate debt together. Either way, nurturing a loving relationship can be hard when debt is hanging over your head. In fact, according to a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances only a few times a month. Another inference can be made from this study: there is a whole lot of disagreement about money out there. Debt is a source of contention. … Continue reading →

The Saver and the Spender Get Married

Money is one of the leading causes of contention in marriage, and is ranked by some statisticians as the number one reason for divorce. I would say that failure to communicate about money is the real culprit, rather than money being the culprit itself. And when you have one spouse who feels more secure with money in the bank and the other spouse who gets comfort from going shopping, you have a situation where both spouses feel insecure because of the actions of the other. If he’s the saver, she may feel as though he’s depriving her of comfort, and … Continue reading →

Savers Anonymous

I’ve always been a saver. This goes back to many, many years ago when I was a young child. A friends and I found a $20 will, which seems like an enormous sum. An adult split the bill for us, leaving use each with $10. I immediate put mine in the back. My friend took his to the local diner and treated everyone (but me) to milk shakes. While my popularity points went down that day, it still wasn’t enough to deter me from saving money any way that I could. That doesn’t mean that I always made the right … Continue reading →

What Not to Do in Front of Your Kids When It Comes to Money

Children learn what they see. It is a true statement for any kind of behavior including money management. Children’s attitudes toward money and whether or not they will be able to make it work for them as adults has much to do with their parents. If you are married, think about any differences that there might be between you and your spouse, regarding any issues having to do with money. Is one of you more a saver than a spender? Do you approach investing or debt the same way? Chances are that you may each have different ideas about handling … Continue reading →

Changing Old Habits

A reader recently e-mailed me the following question: “Help! I’m a reformed spender trying hard to make the finances work, but in my spouse’s eyes I still haven’t changed enough. It’s ruining our marriage. What do I do?” First off, I commend this reader for making these important changes. It sounds as though they have made their marriage the top priority and they are focused on improving their relationship as well as their finances. I’m sorry to say, though, that there is only one thing that is going to solve this dilemma, and that is time. It takes time for … Continue reading →

The Priest’s List of Five Must Haves for a Happy Match

One morning last week on Today, they interviewed a Catholic priest who’d been the stir of a recent New York Times article. Though he’d been a clergyman for like 50 years, had never been married, and was celibate, he seemed to have an idea about what qualities a woman should look for in a man if she wanted to live happily ever after with him. The Priest’s Interview I’m not sure what the article was about, but what the priest talked about on Today was who you should and shouldn’t marry –and how you’ll know the difference. How to do … Continue reading →

On the Job Training: No Experience Required

You know, it’s funny – we have to have degrees with initials like A.A. B.A., B.S. M.A. M.S. or Ph. D. in order to get some jobs or hold employment positions. But getting married, which is like trying to earn a Bachelor’s, Masters and PhD in relationships all at once doesn’t require any sort of formal education or previous experience at all. In fact, considering the whole impact that it has on your life – it’s surprising that more of us don’t take it seriously before we get married. No Experience Required The idea of no experience required may be … Continue reading →