Search Results for: blog the saver and the spender

Debt and Marriage: How It is Tough to Love When You Owe

Many couples enter into a marriage with debt already in hand. Others accumulate debt together. Either way, nurturing a loving relationship can be hard when debt is hanging over your head. In fact, according to a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances only a few times a month. Another inference can be made from this study: there is a whole lot of disagreement about money out there. Debt is a source of contention. … Continue reading →

The Saver and the Spender Get Married

Money is one of the leading causes of contention in marriage, and is ranked by some statisticians as the number one reason for divorce. I would say that failure to communicate about money is the real culprit, rather than money being the culprit itself. And when you have one spouse who feels more secure with money in the bank and the other spouse who gets comfort from going shopping, you have a situation where both spouses feel insecure because of the actions of the other. If he’s the saver, she may feel as though he’s depriving her of comfort, and … Continue reading →

The Saver and the Spender

For most of us, money is a tool. We get some, we spend it for what we need, and we tuck a little away for a rainy day. But for some of us, it carries a deeper emotional meaning which can manifest itself with an increased desire to save, or an increased desire to spend. Each of these desires is caused by fear or insecurity. Spending – People who spend are generally afraid of being deprived. If they were raised in poverty or even in want, they fear returning to that status and as they spend money, they are subconsciously … Continue reading →

Savers Anonymous

I’ve always been a saver. This goes back to many, many years ago when I was a young child. A friends and I found a $20 will, which seems like an enormous sum. An adult split the bill for us, leaving use each with $10. I immediate put mine in the back. My friend took his to the local diner and treated everyone (but me) to milk shakes. While my popularity points went down that day, it still wasn’t enough to deter me from saving money any way that I could. That doesn’t mean that I always made the right … Continue reading →

Marriage and Money: Resenting Your Spouse

This morning, I was busy monitoring an overly full stock pot that represents at least another two family meals that will will get out of a chicken that we bought on sale. I was boiling the picked clean bones to make some chicken stock that will then be turned into chicken noodle soup. The soup, along with a small salad and some bread will make a very frugal meal for us. As I was doing this, my eldest son came in to tell me exactly how much the father of one of his school mates makes each week. Knowing the … Continue reading →

What Not to Do in Front of Your Kids When It Comes to Money

Children learn what they see. It is a true statement for any kind of behavior including money management. Children’s attitudes toward money and whether or not they will be able to make it work for them as adults has much to do with their parents. If you are married, think about any differences that there might be between you and your spouse, regarding any issues having to do with money. Is one of you more a saver than a spender? Do you approach investing or debt the same way? Chances are that you may each have different ideas about handling … Continue reading →

Is Your Kid a Spendthrift?

We’ve entered a new dimension at Casa Cheplic: Cashdom. Now that my daughter is 7, we’ve bid adieu to threats and time outs and are embracing the wonders of using cash as incentive for good behavior. So, yeah, basically I get my kid to behave by bribing her with big bucks. Actually, it’s mostly coins, but the occasional dollar bill makes an appearance if she achieves a monumental accomplishment. We’ve got the wall chart, the stickers, a list of jobs and rules and, of course, a jar full of shiny, jangly loot. Using monetary rewards as a method of behavior … Continue reading →

Big Bad Bill Collectors Beware

If you dread looking at your called ID every time the phone rings, chances are that you are in debt and you do not want to talk to the bill collectors that are calling (and calling, and calling). Although bill collectors are allowed to call you in an attempt to collect money from you, there are rules that they must follow. Many bill collectors do follow the rules, but some are unscrupulous and use bad business practices to kick you when you’re down. Here’s the scoop on what bill collectors can and cannot do. The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act … Continue reading →

What Are Necessary Purchases?

A reader recently sent me this question: How do you know when a purchase is a necessity and when it’s not? Well, of course there are the basics – food, clothing, shelter, gasoline. Then there are the things that perhaps won’t sustain life, but make it a whole lot nicer, like books, television, dinner out. Then there are luxury items such as jewelry, boats, vacation homes, and such. This chart is very simple, and very obvious, but it’s really not that cut and dried. Take, for instance, food, which is a necessity in and of itself, but not all food … Continue reading →

Changing Old Habits

A reader recently e-mailed me the following question: “Help! I’m a reformed spender trying hard to make the finances work, but in my spouse’s eyes I still haven’t changed enough. It’s ruining our marriage. What do I do?” First off, I commend this reader for making these important changes. It sounds as though they have made their marriage the top priority and they are focused on improving their relationship as well as their finances. I’m sorry to say, though, that there is only one thing that is going to solve this dilemma, and that is time. It takes time for … Continue reading →