How to Handle Your Non-Frugal Friends (I)

by L Robbins | More from this Blogger

15 Aug 2006 12:42 PM

Often people who decide to change their financial situation encounter an unexpected obstacle to change: their friends.

Financially wise people discover conflict on two basic fronts: the social front and the financial front. Not only can a person have their relationships changed by frugal living, they sometimes find that it's just not as easy to maintain the relationship when they're no longer willing to go to theme parks or jaunt off to dinner with their friends. Today we'll cover the social front.

Friends often wonder what's going on with the newly-born frugalite. They may joke or even poke good-natured (usually) fun, question what the person is doing or tell them bluntly that they're making a mistake and wasting their lives, time, effort, and energy.

1. Stay cool. I know that you're wired and excited about your new resolution, but resist the temptation to become obsessive about money. As I've realized, being obsessed with money makes you boring. Don't let your new excitement take over your conversations and activities.
2. Don't give unsolicited advice. You may start noticing things about your friends' lifestyles that makes you concerned. Resist the urge to give them unwanted advice. Sooner or later, they will become interested in managing their finances more wisely through your example, not your words, and they will come to you asking questions.
3. Drop numbers. No one wants to sit down and watch while you generate spreadsheets showing how much you're earning, after investment income, by paying your house off early. (Well, there's a small group of freaky personal finance bloggers who would enjoy it, but chances are they're not your next-door neighbors.) However, even though detailed explanations turn people off, a casual number here and there isn't intrusive and can pique people's interest. For instance, "I just realized we were spending a hundred and eight dollars a month on eating out! We figured out that if we put that in a savings account, we'll be able to pay cash for Marilyn's college." And leave it at that.

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Lisa P (24013) 17 Aug 2006 06:29 AM

Great points! I find that telling someone that we live off 1/2 our income and are saving the other half for our retirement generally gets their attention. Especially when they are having a hearty homemade dinner at our house (thank you, couponers in the Families.com Deals section for all the great tips!)